(made me tear...)

It's the smile that finds me
Anytime and anywhere
It's the idea of hope
Of knowing that that your here
It's the breath that you take
The sound of your voice
It's the idea of love
Hope without choice
It's the beat that now skips
The pause of my heart
It's the suffer of longing
closeness of apart
It's the passion that burns
The fire in eyes
It's the telling of truth
Receiving no lies
It's the compromise known
Viewed through a mirror
It's unconditional love
With no false demeanor
It's the feeling of home
No matter how far
It's the knowing your here
Whereva you are
It's the lessons untaught
The willing to learn
It's the falling in love
Without fear of the burn
It's the message that's read
Before your lips part
It's the breathing your name
The stillness of heart
It's security felt from
anywhere on earth
It's the finding idea
My mission since birth
It's the knowing no limits
To feel so alive
It's to question life why
Find reason to strive
It's the finding of someone
You can't even compare
It's understanding my life
With you I could share
It's intelligence that's felt
Your inside my head
It's the thought of not using
But sharing the bed
It's like waking to a new life
The old life as past
It's the knowing "FOSHO"
This one will last
It's the feeling not felt
The grandest of all
It's the weakness of knees
Being caught when we fall
It's the bliss of fitting
In a world of misfits
It's the seeing your smile
When you give me the shit's
It's the word's that fall short
A story untold
It's the realizing I've found
Someone to grow old
It's imperfect perfection
Our greatest gift is our spouse
It's like I've never known
anything else...

WATCH OUT!

Ladies and Gentlemen
Bums and Tramps
Cross-eyed Mosquitos and
Bow-Legged Ants
I Come here Before You
To Stand here Behind You
And Tell You a Story
I've Never even Heard
Admission is Free
So Pay at the Door
There's plenty of Seats
So Sit on the Floor
This is a Lady's Meeting
For Gentlemen Only
And Now I will Tell
You my Story;
"One Bright Morning
In the Middle of the Night
Two Dead Boys got Up to Fight
Back-to-Back they Faced Eachother
Sword-to-Sword they Shot Eacother
A Deaf Policeman
Heard the Noise
And Came to Kill
The Two Dead Boys"
If You Don't Believe
My Story is True
Ask the Blind Man
On The Corner-
He Saw it Too.

Home... <3

Your dream is your desire,
Your desire is your sentiments,
Your sentiment is your love,
Your love is your heart,
Your heart is your spouse,
Your spouse is your future,
Your future is your destiny,
Your destiny is your ambition,
Your ambition is your inspiration,
Your inspiration is your motivation,
Your motivation is your belief,
Your belief is your peace,
Your peace is your target,
Your target is heaven...
...heaven is your home.

True/False

True people are like diamonds.
They are dear and rear.
False people are like stones.
They are scattered everywhere.
I'm glad I'm true to myself.

Our World

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Sometimes it hurts to fit us there...
Sometimes you wish you were elsewhere..
But then you feel that warm strong feeling
And not even doubt, will shake its meaning.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to always last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

=\

I sit here thinking of what to write,

Thinking of something nice to say...

... just to pretend I am alright.

Unfortunately, it has been another sad day.

Aspirin won't help because it's not my head.
I wish it was, that would be an easy fix.

However, it's my heart instead
and you can't fix, what you miss...
I miss you,

Waking up to the feeling of whats next...

I miss home.

Maybe being far away was just a test.
I wish I could of learned there...

I wish I never went anywhere.

:(

*thinking*

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?

Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “asteroids”?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren’t going as ghosts but as mattresses?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?”

If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

Asneiras...

Não faças asneiras só porque és infeliz. ~ GB

He said... She Said... LOL

He said.. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said..You wear briefs, don't you

He said.. Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?

She said.. Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

She said.. What do you mean by coming home half drunk?

He said.. It's not my fault.. I ran out of money.

He said.. Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.

She said.. Well, you succeeded.

He said.. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you

She said.. Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

He said.. Let's go out and have some fun tonight.

She said.. Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

He said.. Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?

She said.. I would, but you're never there.

He said.. Shall we try a different position tonight?

She said.. That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

Female Comebacks:

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female inpersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unferrtilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Comparing Men to Dogs

How Dogs and Men Are the Same:

1. Both take up too much space on the bed.

2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning

3. Both mark their territory

4. Neither tells you what's bothering them

5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous

6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches

7. Neither does any dishes

8. Both fart shamelessly

9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut

10. Both like dominance games

11. Both are suspicious of the postman

12. Neither understands what you see in cats

How Dogs Are Better Than Men:

1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public

2. Dogs miss you when you're gone

3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong

4. Dogs admit when they're jealous<

5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out

6. Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.)

7. You can train a dog

8. Dogs are easy to buy for

9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, really, the worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).

10. Dogs understand what "no" means.

11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

Changing...

If you have to change yourself so someone loves you... it's not worth the effort.

Agony...

Dear Agony,

Just let go of me... As I already suffer slowly.
Is this the way it's got to be? Don't bury me.
Faceless enemy...

Within someone, buried somewhere unreachable, there's always a burden.
A heavy cross to bear, even if for something unattainable...
Out of reach, it's where I stand.

Diving in an abyss of deprivation of feelings.
Where nothing matters but a friendly face, caring hand, lovely smile...
Somewhere, somewhere not here.

It's better to feel agony than not feeling...
But it takes your hand and walks you to nothing, like a friendly individual.
And when you wake, you realize, that with or without it, you've only got yourself.

YOU

l don't believe in a honest politician...
I don't believe in any electrician;
Now, l don't believe in a cold rainy day
l don't believe in a normal world...
I don't believe we should be stuck on yesterday,
I don't believe in everything that has been told.
Now, l don't believe in aliens...
Don't believe all men are villains...
l don't believe in dragons burning out the land
I don't believe all beaches have to have sand...
l don't believe in the ghosts that want to haunt our past
I don't believe that all good things end or last...
I don't believe in your doubt
I don't believe true love ever breaks out.
I don't believe in your lost
I don't believe everything has a cost.
I don't believe in your curse
I don't believe life should be a rehearse.
I don't believe in lots of people:
I don't like vengeful, hateful, blameful...
I don't believe in some ideas, thoughts:
I don't like onslaughts, gun shots, potshots..
I don't believe in lots of things:
I don't like bearings, moldings, beatings...
But there is something I believe in
That I feel certain from within...
I know this something is true,
And this something is: YOU.

Girls ...

Flip flops...
bellytops...
lemonade in the shade...

blue skies...
hot guys...
late nights water fights...

ice cream...
sweet dreams...
party time, lookin fine...

sleepin' in
sneaking out...
that's what girls are about!

(LoL, written when I was 14)

Girls only

Flip flops... bellytops... lemonade in the shade... blue skies... hot guys... late nights water fights... ice cream... sweet dreams... party time lookin fine... sleepin' in sneaking out... that's what "gurls" are about!

sombra~

Por um mero segundo
Consigo sorrir!
Talvez por olhar o MEU mundo
E ver, O quanto o estou a destruir.

ACho piada; de tao triste... TAO degradante...
Fecho os olhos penso nisto
Abro os olhos, vejo isto...
Eh relativamente desesperante :)

Ouco pessoas a dizer:
"Tens de ficar melhor"
Como se sentissem a minha dor;

Se calhar nem querem saber!
Estou assim, agora,
Porque SOU, a SOMBRA, do que fora outrora.

wait is a waste

Sitting here I wait...
For you... Where have you been?
Nowhere to be seen!

I turn my head up, and I look
Upon the sky so high
I hope I don't die
Over something You took.

I can still breath
But my heart ain't here
Did you hide it, (teehee)?
I can't find it anywhere..

Is it there between your hands
That my heart stands?
You're keeping it as a tool?!!?
What am I? Some sort type of fool!?

All these questions bug my mind...
Maybe 'cause I found something you didnt find :)
I feel it within my heart
And i guess, thats how things start.

So sitting here I wait...
I wish it all doesnt go to waste.

Ausente?

Porque te calas?
Ficas assim, ausente?
Porque nao me chamas?
Se dizes sentir o que quem ama sente!?!?

Porque estamos nesta situacao?
Porque nao me agarras ou me deixas da mao?!
Porque sinto que ja nao existe?!
Por isso ando neste estado, triste.

Porque faz eco, a tua voz
nesta minha mente entristecida?
Se nao queres que esta seja por mim ouvida?!

Onde estou eu? Onde estas tu? Nos?
Como es capaz de deixar o tempo passar?
Se sabes, que so a mim vais amar!?

Meet again

When dawn's first light turned into day,
who knew an angel would soon call me away.
And though i didnt get the chance to say goodbye,
i leave you three things to help you get by.
I leave you Courage, that you might see
your heart can rebuild a world without me.
I leave you faith, that you might believe
the spirit will survive no matter how much we grieve.
And i leave you Love, to comfort you in its healing embrace
until we meet again in another place.

Sem sono

De quando em vez, cansada...
Sem vontade de fazer nada
ah! Sempre vou trabalhando!!
Eficacia? So de vez em quando.

Notam e evidenciam que mudei
Dizem que ando TRISTE,
Era assim?... - Ja nem sei -
... desde a ultima vez que me viste?!

A saude nao ajuda
A minha vida nao muda;
E eu fico neste embarasso

Sem forca, p'ra dar um passo.
Fico com esta sensacao de abandono,
Que por conseguinte, Sem Sono.

por bem?

Ha pessoas que vem por bem... :)

Ha pessoas de quem, nunca vamos precisar na vida!?
Outras, precisamos e nao admitimos...
Ha quem, precise de nos e nao sabemos...
Ha quem siga as nossas pegadas, sem saber.

Ha quem nos admira, sem confessar.
Quem nos sorri, para que notemos que existem...
E ha quem chore, pla mesma razao.
Tambem existe, quem nos queira bem.

Igualmente, quem nos queira mal.
Sera que ha quem nos odeie?
Que nos ame incondicionalmente?
Alguem que morre por nos!?

Alguem que mate por nos?
Sera que vale a pena?
Sera que quem morra por nos...
... nao eh apenas uma daquelas pessoas...

... que nunca vamos precisar na vida?!
Sera que existe quem nos defenda sem sabermos?
Bem mais facil eh existir alguem que nos atraicoe...
... Sem Sabermos. Quem sabe, ate sabemos...

De que nos serve? Tudo o que fazemos em funcao d'outros?
Se eles tem a sua vida?
Como temos a nossa?!
Porque nao se esforcam eles?

Ninguem vive em minha funcao!?
Ou vivem?! Vive? Viveram? Viveu!?
Respeito? #1 na tabela dos principios?!
E solidariedade? Isto eh uma piada?!?

Quem es? Porque les isto?
Onde estas? Onde vais?
Como me conheces? Porque continuas nisto?
Fechas a porta sempre que sais?!

Es seguro/a? Es crianca?
Es adulto/a? Es apaixonado/a?
Es imaturo/a? Precipitado/a?
Es o que? E porque?

Quem es? Porque les isto?
Onde estas? Onde vais?
Como me conheces? Se me conheces?!?
Vens por bem?!

:))

Sumida

A pensar...
Em algo que me aconteceu...
Um dia, (uma noite e outro dia)...
Como é de louvar isto que por ti sinto...
Acredita meu amor, pois nao te minto!!
Olho p'ra ti e vejo alguem em quem posso contar..
Que apesar de tudo... me sabe amar;
Pelo que sou...
Mesmo onde estou...
A noite esvai-se, como o vento...
Vejo entao os primeiros raios de luz...
Como tudo se evapora, mas nao este sentimento..
Algo em ti, eternamente me seduz!
As vezes refugio-me nesta solidao..
Que mesmo que nao queira, invade meu coracao.
Es tu, es tu... distante...
So queria poder ser, algo teu! Amante...
Os dedos comecam a ficar pesados...
As palpebras adormentadas...
o sorriso escassado...
De dias mal passados...
De noites mal dormidas...
De um amor ilimitado!
Olho no ecra e vejo isto... nada.
Sinto a tua falta... amedrontada!
Pensar que eventualmente te posso perder...
Nao me faz esquecer...
So me faz querer...
te TER!
Colado no meu corpo, amargo...
Carrego esta dor, este fardo...
De nao te poder tocar...
Te querer tanto te beijar...
Penso entao que quase te conheco...
e entretanto peco...
que me deixes terminar...
Algo q cheguei a comecar!!!
Levar-me-a uma eternidade
desde que seja a teu lado...
Sera tudo mais facil de suportar!
Esta nossa cumplicidade
Fico feliz por um dia te ter amado...
E que assim possa continuar.
Um adeus diria entao...
Para ditar aqui uma despedida...
Mas e melhor nao..
Senao ainda me das como sumida. lol

Grandpa ~

You were so full of life,
Always smiling and carefree,
Life loved you being a part of it,
And I loved you being a part of me.

You could make anyone laugh,
If they were having a bad day,
No matter how sad I was,
You could take the hurt away.
Nothing could every stop you,
Or even make you fall,
You were ready to take on the world,
Ready to do it all.
But God decided he needed you,
So from this world you left,
But you took a piece of all of us,
Our hearts are what you kept.

Your seat is now empty,
And it's hard not to see your face,
But please always know this,
No one will ever take your place.

You left without a warning,
Not even saying good-bye,
And I can't seem to stop,
Asking the question why?
Nothing will ever be the same,
The halls are empty without your laughter,
But I know you're in Heaven,
Watching over us and looking after.
I didn't see this coming,
It hit me by surprise,
And when you left this world,
A small part of me died.
Your smile could brighten anyone's day,
No matter what they were going through,
And I know everyday for the rest of my life,
I'll be missing you.

Differences between Outbreak, Epidemic, Pandemic and Endemic...

An epidemic is a disease that affects many people at the same time, such as the flu.
The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's official definition of epidemic is: 'The occurrence of more cases of disease than expected in a given area or among a specific group of people over a particular period of time'.
A pandemic is a very extensive epidemic, like a plague, that is prevalent in a country, continent, or the world.
There is also the word endemic, which is a disease native to a people or region, which is regularly or constantly found among a people or specific region.
The term outbreak describes the sudden rise in the incidence of a disease, especially a harmful one. An outbreak is characterized by a disease's bypassing of measures to control it.
Often, the difference between these terms is determined by the percentage of deaths caused by the disease.

How are you living?

I haven’t felt like this in awhile. Lost.

It seems everywhere I go everything around me falls apart.
I’m starting to question myself? If somehow or somewhat I have an effect in it all?

People play with each other’s feelings, dragging people that have nothing to do with anything into it… all for control? Power?
But what power really? What power do we have? And over what?
If by chance we’re here… what’s there to obtain but a life to be lived? If not by chance we have something that controls all of it, us being the puppets of some freak show!

The question remains, what power?

Goes from Religion to Work; covering Gov., relationships, et cetera et cetera…

Religion was created to control the mass.
If GOD is perfect and we’re his creation, we Ought to be perfect and we’re not.
If GOD is good why would he allow one of his own to rot in hell?
How old are stars? And in the bible how old do they say the Universe is? (not to mention that the Bible says Universe when the chance is that there’s INFINITE UniverseS!)

People are oblivious to the truth because they are afraid of running out of hope. But there’s so much to hope for than lies and make-beliefs.

If everyone was smart enough.. We’d be driving around in the universe right now, sleeping in Jupiter, running on the moon. But they tend to spend all the money in weapons to kill one another… humanity is INSANE!

We kill our own kind like irrational animals… It’s egregious.

Mainly people try do dry you out. Suck the energy out of you, your life! Sometimes for jealousy, sometimes for power others times for mere vengeance.
People can tell you and DO lots of things. People can take away your “freedom”, your liberty of speech but they cannot kill an idea.

And those, I will never run out of.

I am alive and I won’t die, ever. I am!

World, look out!

Just dream...

Beyond the realm of dreams
when bounds of logic stretch
Beyond conscious belief;
To a place not so far from known.

When even within dreams
The possibility of touch is far…
Far from the realm of reality,
What more is there but to dream?

Within the realm of dreams…
I wish I could hold you when I wake
The way that I hold you
In my dreams at night.

Within the realm of dreams…
I wish I could share
All the feelings that tear me up,
All I have to bare.

Beyond the realm of dreams,
Where distance in time and space
And obligation are impossible
To overcome…

I wish I could tell you,
So you’d understand
The loneliness locked deep within;
Maybe just hold your hand…

Within the realm of dreams…
What more then is there
But to dream,
The dream of sleeping;

As for the dreams of the awaken
Often don’t come true.
Unless the realm of the dream
Is as you’ve been dreaming it too.

Who then can predict,
prompt or dismiss a dream?
To awaken with a sad heart,
and a longing within your soul.

I wish there was somewhere
A place where loners could dare;
Like the realm of the dream…
Or the realm of the seem…

As for it seems sometimes it is
And seems are frequent untrue…
I ask this question everyday…
Really… Who are you?

Who can foretell or prompt
Or dismiss the slumbering thoughts
That come at night;
(Burst in like a storm)
That bring sighs of longing
Upon awakening,
Of the tears that form...

 ... beyond the realm of dreams.

Written by Juliana to me:

(wish I could keep certain moments forever... walk with me...)

"You know theres this angel right?
And this angel is ALWAYS there for me!
So one day I was crying...
and the angel comforted me, made
me smile and said: "when your sad, I'm sad;
when you do something stupid I'll be there to
make it look smart; And when you miss me don't cry
look down and a little too the left cus I'm never any
further then the corner of you heart.

and you know what's funny? That angel is you ♥
Tia.

No mtter what happens or no matter
what I do or who comes into my life,
You will always be the one I look to
because your the reason I smile... and when I talked

to you on the phone I held in my tears
because I cant stand to see you cry
and when people say your not coming here
I turn around close my eyes and say: "She's already here
...In the corner of my heart, shes my shadow watching over me and

that wind that makes a breeze and that sun that makes me worm
she everything to me", but
no one seem to understand but me
that theres always a missing piece to my life
and... other people try to fill it in but it doesn't fix as perfect as your piece..
♥ I LOVE YOU"

[Just this alone is worth living for.
I love my niece, she's my little girl and always will be.
Thank you for the kind words baby girl... you mean the world to me!]

:'(

I will NOT be back...

I got here feeling alone
But Ill leave here feeling worse...
I thought I could talk to him, be the first;

But he is about done.

~~*~~
At least, I know he loved me his own way
Even with me running away.
Im sure my departure will be pretty bad
Since he is already so freaking sad.

~~*~~
Everything looks upside down
Everyone has a constantly frown.
They are all so hurt, all so lost
They will try to be happy at your cost.

~~*~~

They will make you feel mad...
They will make you wish what you had.

These people here all look so degrading,
My love and my hope for all them is fading.

~~*~~
No nanny, no grandfather.
No dad, no mother.

I dont want to tear, I dont want to pry...
But my dad for me, he will never die.

~~*~~
I look in his eyes, he is oh so sad,
No wonder why he was always so mad.
Do I see in him what he sees in me?
´cause emptyness in him, is all I see.

~~*~~

Today I know what he felt then!
My heart just asks, when did start, when?

When did he lose his willing to give?
When did he lose his willing to live?

~~*~~
I question alot...
And thats how I preserve everything Ive got.
I wonder if mom is now so cold
Over everything she has been told?

~~*~~
Did her love for him fade?
She forgive him from what he has done and said?
I wonder if it was him that took her kindness...
When she got rid of her love blindness?

~~*~~
She now sees him clear
She speaks 2 him with no fear.
Ive forgiven what he has done already,
Bring a new beginning, I am ready!

~~*~~
I leave this time with no regret
I have my mind and heart all set.
I cant stay here or I will vanish..
Since with no heart a person will perish.

~~*~~
Enough hurt, Enough tears
Enough madness, enough fears.
I leave with a smile...
Because I will not be back for awhile.

Como consegues?

Como consegues andar pelos cantos da casa onde o meu cheiro ainda reside?

Como consegues deitar-te na cama que um dia me seguraste?

Comer o que um dia me deste na boca?

Cozinhar o que um dia me cozinhaste com todo o jeito e carinho do mundo!?

Como consegues estar tão perto e fazer sentir-te tão longe?

Como não consegues vir até mim?

Como consegues entregar a outra, hoje, aquilo que sempre foi meu?

Terceira

Eu hoje sei porque não voltei aqui.
Porque cá não vivo.
~~*~~~*~~
Saí para não ser como quem tanto critiquei.

Voltar? Seria ver quem criticou comigo tornar-se,

o que em tempos, tanto repugnou.
~~*~~~*~~
Voltar? Seria perder, o único sentimento que me cá fez vir, a esperança.
Um dos sentimentos que me faz girar, viver; mover...
~~*~~~*~~
Voltar? Foi reviver um conjunto de emoções e recordações;

Algumas más demais outras boas demais, para mim.

~~*~~~*~~

Voltar?... bem, voltar foi quebrar o meu coração de um modo irreversível.

Foi ter de deixar um pouco de mim aqui.

~~*~~~*~~

E não vivo cá... porque não consigo.
Não sem ti.

Hoje, Eu Sei...

Hoje vejo no teu olhar

O reflexo de tudo o que sempre sonhei.

Hoje vejo no teu amar,
Que nunca me enganei.
Hoje vejo no teu sorrir
O que sempre desejei.
Hoje vejo no teu toque,
A quietude que sempre terei.
Hoje vejo na tua expressão
O que sempre amei.
Hoje vejo em ti:
Algo que nunca esquecerei.
Vejo-me a mim...
Isso, Eu Sei.

Ah pois..

Há pessoas que são prova; que nem sempre quem tem olhos, vê.

~ Recognize...

I love you...
You mean the Universes to me!
No one can ever replace,

compare or destroy what we have...
Past, Present or Future.
You are mine as I am yours,
Because we always were.
And that is Grand, Timeless therefore,
FOREVER!
Words would always fall short.
Im so happy we found one another after 20 years apart.

Like Ive never known anything else...

Many presents you will open
Bearing your name under a tree,

My gift to you... eternal...

My gift to you... its me.

No one has ever had it
Nobody ever can
Some will try, yet all will fail
For I will always be... your woman.
21 years did I wait
A long time to be alone
The seed of love was planted
Then a long time Ive watched it grow.
It blooms just once a lifetime
Is seen through many eyes...
It blooms all shapes and sizes
But once bloomed it never dies.
Its flowers undescribable for
They change from day to day...
Its beauty is emotion
Infinite in every way.
Will need no sun or water
Attention is all it needs
For althought it will not die
I assure you that it bleeds.
And when the time is right
It will provide its spouse;
Its like Ive never
Known anything else.

Can't help but to smile...

I was sitting here thinking

Of the words I want to say,

But they just wouldn't come out right
So I found a different way...

I got a piece of paper
And I wrote this poem for you,
But there's no way to thank you
For everything you do.

For always being nice to me
And staying by my side,
For helping fix my problems
And never leaving me behind.

For accepting my thoughts and feelings,
Though sometimes you do not understand,
For never giving up on me
And being my best friend.

For making me laugh
And letting me cry...
And saying you'd miss me
If I were to die.

Everything you mean to me
You could never know
In all the ways you've changed my life
I could never show.

The way you take care of me,
You're my shining star
And though it's so incredible...
That's just the way you are!

Before I get sad,
It's time for me to go,
But before I leave this ink-filled page
There's one thing you should know...

As long as we are living,
No matter when or where,
If you ever need me
Just call and I'll be there.

I'll climb a thousand mountains
And swim the longest sea...
Anything to be there
'cause you've been there for me.

Sadness Falls Upon Me...

The look in your eyes, your loves embrace
Your sweet complexion, and the laugh on your face
The way you say I love you and "It's like this..."
These are only a few of the things about you that I miss.

Each time we’re apart my heart aches
Feels like it’s about to brake...
It’s hard to breathe and my eyes water
When we’re apart it only gets harder.

I miss you and this is so true
That whenever I’m gone all I think about is you.
Just to hear your laugh or see your sweet smile
Would make my heart leap for, at least, a mile.

I know this relationship is kind of tough
And it has been a little bit rough
But I just hope that you know within your heart
That I miss you more and more even when we’re apart.

Como da para esquecer?

"Nem por todos os tesouros q aqui estao eu deixava de te querer, deixava de te amar!
Para mim es unica em tudo, ate na inteligencia, nao sei como consegues ter tao pouca!! :)
(tou a brincar, acho-te montes de inteligente, o q e de estranhar visto seres terceirense, sao as tuas raizes graciosenses!).

Sei q pode parecer estranho sermos namorados, afinal eu sou lindo, enquanto q tu nao! O que posso fazer, dava-te um pouco de beleza, mas... ja tens de sobra, es somente deslumbrante por isso acho q nao e necessario seres ainda mais bonita, tb era um exagero tanta beleza numa so pessoa, para isso basta eu!!!!

Ich liebe dich!!

Sabes, tou doente, desconfiava tar infectado, mas agora tenho a certeza, tou mesmo doente, a doenca e a PAIXAO, e verdade, tou apaixonado por ti, es algo de...

{"THE BIG CHANCE COMES ONCE IN A LIFE-TIME!"}

Agora q me saiu a "sorte grande", ou seja, tu, nao tenciono perder-te! Nao sei porque, mas desde q te vi q exerces um poder estranho sobre mim, ao pe de ti deixo de ser o q sou, isto porque eu:

AMO-TE"

Update*

We are all the equal, with qualities & flaws; But I'm unique because none of us is the same therefore there is no one like me.

I'm one of those people that still believes in love, it makes our heartbeat accelerate, it makes our heart beat; It's one of the best sensations in life: Being in Love.
Romanticism prevails in this century, as long as I exist. (And no I'm not talking about Valentines Day, where people pretend they get along for the day; and gifts are exchanged, usually flowers, old-fashion romanticism, & teddy bears that soon will be in charge to sleep with you, be your support through the night and be there to wipe away your tears);

I live for my friends. I love my family.

I know I'm able to love for all eternity the "right" man... but I also know that sometimes "love" is not eternal...

I'm not sure I'm happy. I know I've been happy before and I know I'll be happy again... I'm just afraid of being happy without even knowing it.

My dream is to own the moon, sleep in Pluto and jump from Universe to Universe to make sure all "me's" preserve the good moments I didn't. I wish I could fly as often as I dream I can/do, I'd do my best to visit every place, at least, on Earth.

Death... It's so overrated. I would like to plan mine... So I knew when to tell all the one's I love how much they mean to me (I'm sure we'll meet again in whatever form we become) and I could die in some place nice. (Just somewhere on a mountain looking over the horizon...);

I want a son. I want to know what it's like to be a mother. What it's like to know someone else but me. To care for someone more than myself.

I adore the night, the ocean, the sky, the stars, the moon... The sky is not the same "here"
(United States). Not like home. Even the moon doesn't reflect the sun's light just as bright. The stars seem like they are going away of how far they seem here. :(

I miss home.

I enjoy having fun... A few drinks... Friends... Dance... Dance the night away! (Good Music or Bad Music, doesn't matter as long as the right people are around, nothing else is needed...)

I love being at home... I'm a hardcore gamer (Video Games are just so addicting and I LOVE IT!) ~ Reading, Writing, just laying on the couch watching movies or just chatting with those that care.

I believe there's something beyond human mind out there. Not Christendom (Christianism) or any other religion. We are not chance. (even tho we live by it)

Religion was created with a "good" (whatever that might be) fund BUT used to control the mass.

I fight and fight some more even tho sometimes I quit, because sometimes not everything depends on us.

I hate being manipulated by feelings,... but obviously I also let myself get manipulated by them or I never would of felt.
I don't seem too much into sentimentalisms because not everyone is to be trusted, but I have them... I have all those beautiful feelings waiting to burst away.

I might seem full of myself, I don't laugh as often as I did/should; But I'm nice, with a good sense of humor and I'm pretty simple with my own complicated ways.

Laugh, I love to laugh... it's like a release of bad energy.

I couldn't live without those conversations that never have conclusions... the ones that simply make us think about everything and nothing. Theory or not... I enjoy the thought.

Sometimes I need to be alone... but I hate feeling alone.

I'm honest. I say what I feel, probably sometimes I shouldn't do it, but I do it!

I adore crazyness, I give myself to moments, have fun with them & I take the bargain of the consequences with a smile... since sometimes things don't go quite as we plan.

I barely cry. I don't get cranky often enough. ~ at least, for a woman..

I used to be very inconstant, the past two years I grew so much; Today, is slightly different, things happen and I learn with them.. instead of whinning over them & stopping in the present looking constantly at a past, that barely existed.

I change as things change in my life.. I tend to adapt well. But I don't conform myself with it.

I'm not perfect... I commit mistakes... But that's me! And guess what? I love myself.
Self-esteem is my best allie, if we can't love ourselves we can't love another.

I don't consider myself a loser... because I know you can't always win. However, you have to know how to win but best to know how to lose...

~ Quote ~

You see things; and you say "Why?"
But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"

Bridge Across Forever

"Boredom between two people doesn't come from being together, physically. It comes from being apart, mentally and spiritually."


So I bought this book, second-hand... Out of all 400 pages in the book only the page with this quote was folded, before I got to that part I wondered why but once I got there and read it...
... How wonderful (truthful)!

Who wrote this?

Dawn's peaceful, luminous blue
Intensified with the day
As did happiness,
Blue. . . bluer. . . bluest,
White puffs of delight,
Joy overflowing,

Until sunset
Wrapped us in tender pink
And we fused in a
Passionate magenta goodbye,
Earth-soul and Cosmic-soul
Bursting with beauty.

When night came,
A baby moon
Laughed sideways in the dark.
I laughed back
And thought:

Partway across the world
Your sky
Is filled with this same
Golden laughter,
And hoped that you,
Twinkling Blue Eyes,
Saw and heard,

So that somehow we three
Were joined in our gladness,
Each in our own space,
Together apart,
Distance meaningless.

And I slept
In a world
Full of smiles.

The Bridge Across Forever

Wednesday evening 12/21

Dearest Richard,
It's so difficult to know how and where to begin. I've been thinking long and hard through many ideas trying to find a way...
I finally struck one little thought, a musical metaphor, through which I have been able to think clearly and find understanding, if not satisfaction, and I want to share it with you. So please bear with me while we have yet another music lesson.
The most commonly used form for large classical works is sonata form. It is the basis of almost all symphonies and concertos. It consists of three main sections: the exposition or opening, in which little ideas, themes, bits and pieces are set forth and introduced to each other; the development, in fullest, expanded, often go from major (happy) to minor together in greater complexity until at last there is: the expression of the full, rich maturity to which the tiny ideas have grown through the development process.

How does this apply to us, you may ask, if you haven't already guessed.

I see us stuck in a never-ending opening. At first, it was the real thing, and sheer delight. It is the part of a relationship in which you are at your best: fun, charming, excited, exciting, interesting, interested. It is a time when you're most comfortable and most lovable because you do not feel the need to mobilize your defenses, so your partner gets to cuddle a warm human being instead of a giant cactus. It is a time of delight for both, and it's no wonder you like openings so much you strive to make your life a series of them.

But beginnings cannot be prolonged endlessly; they cannot simply state and restate themselves. They must move on and develop - or die of boredom. Not so, you say. You must get away, have changes, other people, other places so you can come back to a relationship as if it were new, and have constant new beginnings.

We moved on to a protracted series of reopenings. Some were caused by business separations that were necessary, but unnecessary harsh and severe for two so close as we. Some were manufactured by you in order to provide still more opportunities to return to the newness you so desire.

Obviously, the development section is anathema to you. For it is where you may discover that all you have is a collection of severely limited ideas that won't work no matter how much creativity you bring to them or - even worse for you - that you have the makings of something glorious, a symphony, in which case there is work to be done: depths must be plumbed, and separate entities carefully woven together, the better to glorify themselves and each other. I suppose it is analogous to that moment in writing when a book idea must be/cannot be run from.

We have undoubtedly gone further than you ever intended to go. And we have stopped for short of what I saw as our next logical and lovely steps. I have seen development with you continually arrested, and have come to believe that we will never make more than sporadic attempts at all our learning potential, our amazing similarities of interest, no matter how many years we may have - because we will never have unbroken time together. So the growth we prize so highly and know is possible becomes impossible.

We have both had vision of something wonderful that awaits us. Yet we cannot get there from here. I am faced with a solid wall of defenses and you have the need to build more and still more. I long for the richness and fullness of further development, and you will search for ways to avoid it as long as we're together. Both of us are frustrated; you unable to go back, I unable to go forward, in a constant state of struggle, with clouds and dark shadows over the limited time you allow us. To feel your constant resistance to me, to the growth of this something wonderful, as if I and it were something horrible - to experience the various forms to resistance takes, some of them cruel - often causes me pain on one level or another.

I have a record of our time together, and have taken a long and honest look at it. It has saddened me, and even shocked me, but it has been helpful in facing the truth. I look back to the days in early July, and the seven weeks that followed, as our only truly happy period. that was the opening, and it was beautiful. Then there were the separations with their fierce and, to me, inexplicable cutoffs - and the equality fierce avoidance-resistance on your returns.

Away and apart or together and apart, it is too unhappy. I am watching me become a creature who cries a lot, a creature who even must cry a lot, for it almost seems that pity is necessary before kindness is possible. And I know I have not come this far in life to become pitiful.

To be told that canceling your date to help me when I was in state of crisis "Wouldn't work for you" brought the truth crushing down on me with the force of an avalanche. Facing facts as honestly as I can, I know I cannot continue, no matter how much I might wish to do so; I cannot bend further.

I hope you will not see this as the breaking of an agreement, but rather the continuation of the many, many endings you have begun. I think it is something we both know must be. I must accept that I have failed in my effort to let you know the joys of caring.

Richard, my precious friend, this is said softly, even tenderly and lovingly. And the soft tones do not camouflage an underlying anger: they are real. There are no accusations, no blames or faults. I am simply trying to understand, and to stop the pain. I am stating what I have been forced to accept: that you and I are never going to have a development, much less glorious climactic expression of a relationship grown to full blossom.
I have felt if anything in my life deserved departure from previously established patterns, going beyond all known limitations, this relationship did. I suppose I might be justified in feeling humiliated about the lengths to which I have to gone to make it work. Instead, I feel proud of myself and glad to know I recognized the rare and lovely opportunity we had while we had it, and gave all I could, in the purest and highest sense, to preserve it. I am comforted by this now. In this awful moment of ending, I can honestly say I do not know of one other thing I might do to get us to that beautiful future we could have had.

Despite the pain, I'm happy to have known you in this special way, and will always treasure the time we've had together. I have grown with you, and learned much from you, and I know I have made major positive contributions to you. We are both better people for having touched one another.

At this late juncture, it occurs to me that a chess metaphor might also be useful. Chess is a game in which each party has its own singular objective even as it engages the other; a mid-game in which a struggle develops and intensifies and bits and pieces of each side are lost, both sides diminished; and end-game in which one traps and paralyzes the other.

I think you see life as a chess game; I see it as a sonata. And because of these differences, both the king and the queen are lost, and the song is silenced.

I am still your friend, as I know you are mine. I send this with a heart full of the deep and tender love and high regard you know I have for you, as well as profound sorrow that an opportunity so filled with promise, so rare and so beautiful, had to go unfulfilled.

Leslie

Who are you?

Who is anyone?

Everyone?

Where does the self resign?

Are you born with it?

Or is it something you are grown to be?

Nature or nurture?

New Year....

(taken on my birthday - 31st of December of 2008)

For everyone that reads my blog (and visits it by circumstance) I hope you all had a Peaceful Christmas and a Great New Years eve.

Best Wishes to the Year of 2009!