~As ReQueSTeD by "Stewie" ThiS POeM Is DeDiCaTeD ToOo My DaD~

Dad I really love you,
And that's coming from the heart
But I've kept this inside way to long,
You've torn my world apart!
Drugs have ruled your actions
And they're ruining your life
You're missing the satisfaction
Of a wonderful life.
You're missing the beauty life holds for you
And I wish that you would see
You're missing the only chance you'll have
To be a real model for me.
Through all the pain I've grown stronger
And also a little wise.
You've put me through a lot
For a girl my size.
I know inside it's painful,
And it must be really hard.
To act like you've got it all together,
You could win an academy award.
You blame other people
For the flaws that you've known
You always make excuses
Why we can't be alone.
It's only a simple drug test
There's really no alarm
To make sure your heads clear
So you can keep me from harm.
Going to the courthouse
It is just a little ride
It shouldn't be a problem
If you've nothing to hide.
The reason for the drug test
Is to show that your drug free
And the reward you get for passing it
Is to be with me.
My friends don't understand
How can you be this way
They ask why you choose drugs over me
And this is what I say;
I tell them you have a disease
And that you're really sick.
If it wasn't for the illness,
I'd be the one you'd pick.
I tell them it's really powerful,
And you can no longer feel -
The same feelings we all do -
You can't distinguish what is real.
I explained it affects those close to you
And messes with your head
And those who choose not to get help,
Usually end up dead.
Some people get help sooner
And start to get well
But some just don't want it
And live a life of hell.
They loose sight of what life's all about
Their priorities are misplaced
They numb their minds and bodies
To everyday problems we all face.
They're accountable to no one
As soon they stop growing
They always hurt the ones they love
And money they end up blowing.
They think their entitled
To everything they desire.
And by all those around them
They want to be admired.
Those that don't admire them,
Are usually the ones that get the blame,
the ones that want them to get help,
Isn't that a shame?
They act like everything's alright
And there is nothing to hide.
They become afraid to ask for help
This is called false pride.
Theirselves, bursting all the wounds
Inflicted on the ones that care
And all the secrets they hold inside
Become a heavy cross to bear.
The cross gets heavier and heavier
Until they can no longer stand
With chemicals they numb the pain
Rather than asking for a hand.
It's a disease and there's a cure
That I know, for sure.
This maybe be a little selfish
And I'm thinking way ahead
But one day I may need your guidance
Can you help me if your dead?
I'm still quit young and the time may come
When I might choose the wrong road
We need to work on you first
So you can help me carry my load.
I may need help getting back
To the pathway to heaven above
So if you are already on the good path
You can lead me to Gods love.
I am here to help you
And I wanted to say
I won't enable you anymore
By acting like it's "okay".
I want a real dad
One that's drugs free
But I realize you can't do it
Just for me...
I know you think you love me
But to our hearts we must be true
You are incapable of loving anyone
Until you first love you.
You don't have to hurt the ones you love
You don't have to take, you can give
You can be honest, trustworthy & pure
And have a great life to live.
You know I love you dad
Love surges from the heart
But respect is something you must earn
And this would be a good start.
I'm not going to beg,
I'm not going to plea
But think how great your life could be
You could spend it with me.
I was scared you wouldn't love me
Of telling you what I just said
But I'll take the chance and say it now
Rather than risk you being dead.
Dad I really love you
You'll always be in my heart
I've kept this inside too long
And now, I've said my part.

(crying)

~Hope~

On Sundays, I listened in the very front pew
As the preacher told us how much “God sure loves you”
And “God is our father” and since fathers are love,
Children would understand the love from above.
The children in church smiled at fathers who beamed,
Yet I sat alone, and just wanted to scream.
I’m sure Pastor Mateus believed that a child
Would equate Father God to a dad’s love so mild.
But for me, I related a God who was mean;
Who would find me and shake me and spoil all my dreams.
For if God our Father is like dad on earth,
I didn’t want to know Him; too much would it hurt.

Growing up poor in the smallest of towns,
I never had much - just my mother around.
But Mama was busy – much too busy for me.
She had to work hard for her children to eat.
When Dad wasn’t drunk, he was loosening his belt,
Relieving his stress causing his children welts.
My father’s large hands were a frightening sight -
Not for caressing, but for fists poised for fight.
No one to love me, and no one to care.
I wailed to the heavens, hoping God would just hear
The cries of abandonment (as broken hearts do),
Yet there came no answer. God abandoned me, too.

The decades will pass. Mom and Dad, then.
Yet my unhealed scars won't be buried with them.
That burden I carry will not be released.
And often I tried to be deceased.
Of all my emotions, not one has been joyful or free.
I lived off the anger that burns inside me.
No one to love me, and no one to care,
Until finally I found someone wondefully rare
Who taught me of love and fullfillment and joy,
That will make me a mother of a sweet little boy.
For IF God's love is bigger than the love I now know.
When I cradle my son and feel joy as he grows -
Then the pastor was right about a "parent's love",
And the best of all dads - God, the Father above.

~WoNdErS~

Quao verdadeiro eh o amor, que em nos permanece mesmo que em vao?