"On the drive home from my friend's housewarming party, the girl I was dating -- past tense! -- started bad-mouthing the other women she met that night," says Thomas, 30. "She literally had something nasty to say about every female there. By the time she finished her rant, I was like, either all of my friends suck or this chick is an insecure idiot. I decided it was the latter and got rid of her." And there you have it:
Watching you smooth scented lotion all over your bare legs? Priceless. But you couldn't even pay a guy to eyewitness the ugly side of getting pretty -- think clipping your toenails, extracting a blackhead, flossing those back teeth. Just ask Walter, 28: "Maybe it's not totally PC, but I want my girl to be sugar and spice and everything nice," he admits.
Sure, being playful with another man may score you a free drink or get you out of a speeding ticket. But by the umpteenth hair flip and giggle, your guy's wondering just how "friendly" you would get if he weren't right next to you. Allow Liam, 19, to elaborate: "My last girlfriend knew how to work a room," he says. "But too often her flirting would get out of control, like she actually wanted the other guys. Before long, I started to view her antics as cheap rather than charming."
Trash-talking your ex.
Don't talk negatively about an ex-boyfriend in front of a guy you're dating. I don't care if you're on your first date or on your 15th date with a guy, don't ever trash-talk your ex. Your ex is somebody you dated, invited into your life, and with whom you spent a lot of time. So don't talk negatively about your ex in any way, because what a guy thinks when you do this is that if he ever becomes your ex that you're going to trash-talk him the same way. So, when a man asks you about your ex, you can politely say, "We are no longer together. It was a great relationship while it lasted, and I learned a lot." That's it.
Paranoia runs rampant.
Here you are dating a man you really like, and the first couple of weeks are going well. Then, that first boys' night out happens. In the beginning, you send him a text that says, "Have a great time tonight!" As the night progresses, however, seeds of doubt start forming in your mind about what he's doing, and you start to think "Is he cheating on me? Is he flirting with other women? Where is he right now?" So then, you lob another text in to him asking "What's going on? What are you doing right now?" Even though he tells you he's just hanging out with his friends, you proceed to make a major blunder: You start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away. So when you are dating a man and he's out with his friends, respect his "guy time" -- it will make you the cool woman he's always wanted to find.
Fishing for compliments.
This is something that can drive a man crazy. Here is a typical scenario: The guy you're dating looks at you and says, "You really look beautiful tonight!" Ten minutes later, you look at him and ask, "How do I look tonight?" Stop fishing for compliments. Real compliments come from the heart. Allow us to compliment you when we really mean it. If we don't give a compliment at the exact moment you desire it, just accept it and be OK with that.
Clingy and possessive.
You don't need to do everything together. You're still getting to know him. If there are things he likes to do that simply don't interest you, be cool with it. You don't have to be joined at the hip. If you are going to a cocktail party together, you don't have to be next to him at every moment. If you see him speaking with some woman at the party, do not immediately run over and start grabbing his hand and giving him a big hug -- and certainly don't do this all night long. You are being clingy and possessive when you do this.
Pushing friends on him.
Avoid pushing friends on us too soon. Example: A woman will hang out with a guy on the first or second date and say to him, "You have to meet my friends Jenna and Amy. You also have to meet my friends Phil and Anne; they're such a great couple, and you'll love them!" A man hears this and thinks, "I don't even know you yet. Can I get to know you for a month or two before I have to go meet all of your friends and be put on display as 'the boyfriend?'" We don't want to be "the boyfriend" right away. It's too much pressure. We want to get to know you slowly and learn what you're all about. Believe me, once we get to know you -- and like you -- we will be more willing to get to know all of your friends.
Following these tips will help you get past the first month of a new relationship with a man and avoid some of the major pitfalls that can end a new relationship before it even starts. Be the confident woman you really are so we have a chance to embrace you. Don't scare us off before we have a chance to get to know you!
-> Funny I usually say women are pretty... maybe that's bad too? LOL!
-> I'm "OCD" when it comes to hygiene! I floss, brush and waterpik my teeth, everyday, twice!
-> Well, people tend to say I flirt. Just because it's rare to find someone nice now-a-days?! Blah.
But I tend to be really up-front and honest... and not mislead anyone into unfortunate encounters with reality checks! [OMJ - Oh My Jesus!!]
-> Ex's shouldn't even be a conversation!
-> Paranoia is so lame, I come out as being insensitive because I'm secure. And I trust...
-> Fishing for compliments? That is so wrong! You should know what you are. I do.
-> Possessive? It's good because it means they care, it's bad when it's too much of it. Insecurity sometimes leads to mistrust... and that's a pity!
-> Pushing friends, well they are your friends. Not his. they will never be his. And that's all I have to say!
There's no such thing as total forgiveness or forgetful;
