True Dad, in Memory of My Grandfather

God saw you were getting tired
And a cure was not meant to be
So He put His arms around you
And whispered: "Come with me"
With tearful eyes we watched you
As we saw you pass away
Although we love you deeply
We could not make you stay
Your golden heart stopped beating
A beautiful smile at rest
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best.

Incentivo

Ha dias em que me sinto depressiva, o que ultimamente tem sido constante, e sinceramente tenho medo que se torne permanente.

Escrevo depressa, sobre alineas tortas e dou por mim como, "Ser Poeta" (ai Florbela, FLorbela "Corajosa" [...] e é amar-te assim, eternamente; e é seres alma e sangue e vida em mim [...]" );

- Estou a ouvir: "ERA - Don't you forget about me"

Quando paro e olho o texto, sinto cada risco, cada traco, cada virgula do que escrevi (escrevo). Leio e releio num vicio desiquilibradamente aderente. Dias depois, pego, por mera curiosidade e falta de talento e apenas aprecio todo este meu mundo branco, onde desabafo as minhas imperfeicoes, a que chamam de frustracoes. Nesse espaco de tempo volto a ler e a reler e nem entendo o que outrora escrevera e olho-me ao espelho e... "ah! sou humana!" , suspiro; respiro bem fundo e caio no triste pensamento, no beco sem saida do meu cerebro... e bato contra as paredes de inteligencia, sem conseguir sair daquele espaco e tempo obscuro. Volto a respirar; e nao morri.
Apenas de olhos fechados, no silencio, com medo de algo que nao de mim mesma. Sentir que necessito de algo, par'alem da coragem para me suicidar, que sei que um dia ira surgir. Eu sei. E para que adiar o inevitavel!?!? Eu nao presto. Culpo e julgo porque e uma forma de me roer por dentro; porque julgo, sentindo aqui bem dentro, aqui bem no fundo, quem nem sou um pouco melhor, ate um pouco pior, por vezes.
Auto-critico, criticando outrem. E como tenho andado pouco comunicativa, e porque os dias que passam, nesta minha infeliz vida, nao tem sido tao bons quanto isso.. Ate porque infeliz e elogio...

Ja soube o gosto de ser alegre e nao feliz... mas nao ser nenhum das duas, e... frustrante.

Sabe a fel este sentimento inexplicavel, e que ja se torna incontrolavel.

Quero um incentivo para viver.

Mostra-mo.

Eternal Passion

I had once a passion for life that fueled
each thought and deed;
That passion ignited the start of each day
and fired my soul with need.
It filled my dreams through the night
and wrapped me safe until dawn,
Until one morning I awoke to discover it was gone.
I looked around to feel the heat,
to see the source of flame,
In the cold my soul screamed out
but I only heard my name.
I walked throught all the empty rooms...
but no one else was home.
Those I'd loved were somewhere else
and now I was alone.
In exhaustion I collapsed and started to remember...
How my passion's raging fire had become this lonely ember.
I'd always had others who'd told me how to think and feel
I had followed their hearts so long
I no longer knew what was real.
So I took all the truths that others had shared
and put them in the shelf.
I sat alone in the empty house
and journeyed to find myself.
Over the years, I came to see that
SOME of their truths were mine
But I had truth inside myself
and that was harder to find.
I learned the passion I'd always known
had come from my outside
Now my search had circled within,
With nowhere else to hide.
As I traveled to find my truth;
I discovered I wasn't alone
It wasn't that the house was empty
Only the people were gone.
When I opened the doors and windows,
The moon reflected in
At last I saw the rain that fell
And finally heard the Wind.
I began to hear a deep melody
It induce me to hope again......
Sang me a story about love and eternity
And it promised me all this wasn't in vain.
With miles to go, I now know, my journey's still brand new,
I call for strenght for what's ahead and all I've still to do.
But now I can be a mother and live as one man's wife
For I have found inside myself, a burning passion for life.

V for Vendetta:

Who was he really?
What was he like?
We are told to remember the idea and not the man.
Because a man can fail.
He can be caught,
he can be killed and forgotten.
But 400 years later......
An idea can still change the world.
I have witnessed firsthand the power of ideas.
I've seen people kill in the name of them...
... and die defending them.

But you cannot kiss an idea......
cannot touch it or hold it.
Ideas do not bleed.
They do not feel pain.
They DO NOT love.
And it is not an idea that I miss.

"Why Won't You Die?!"
Beneath this mask there's more then flesh.
Beneath this mask there's an idea.
And ideas are bulletproof.



WOW! wow! WoW! wOw! WOW!

Ich Hasse Dieses Leben*

Sinto-a cada vez mais,
Penso nao ser capaz!
Que vida infeliz...
Tao pouco e o que me diz!!

Amedrontada com a imperfeicao...
Acompanhada p'la solidao...
Sinto-me lisonjeada
Por tanto ser amada.

Amada como quem diz cobicada...
Seguida por abutres "esquecidos"
Sinto-me cansada...
E eles, enraivecidos.

Sem nenhuma solucao,
sem nenhuma porta...
Nem assim, so no FIM,
Serei carne, morta!...

The "Lamest" Poem

When I first met you
I knew it was real,
There was so much love inside of me,
And a lot I could not feel.

After we spent sometime together
It all became clear..
I needed you beside me
I needed you to be near!

I needed you to hold me
I needed you to care
I needed you to be with me,
For the pain I could not bare.

U say that you will call,
But you always seem to busy...
And when u say "i love you"
I become extremely "dizzy"

One reason I get so "dizzy"
It is 'cause I don't know if your words are true..
And another is the thought,
I might be losing you.

Unfaithfulness Insanity

How did I ever get to here?
Why do I need you?
Why do I have to cry this tears?
Where do they lead to?

I used to be a strong alone
When i was standing on my own!
Before this passion begun...

Was I too proud or just to blind?
What does it matter?
When the love was in this hands of mine
I let it shatter?

The peace is getting to the wind...
Will it ever get here again...?
But i remember how we are for the rest of time...
God! Is that a crime?!

You are my heart.. how can I ever let you go?
You are my soul ... I have to lose my soul to know!
How much do you need me..
To me, you are my heart.

I think I see you everywhere..
Isn't that crazy?
I still reach out to feel you there...
I am sorry :(

There's the sun to light the day
My colours turned to gray
The day I saw you walk away
Now there's nothing left to say
But when I dream, I pray
That life could be like yesterday...
:(

Even if I could "delete" you from my head/thoughts/life ... I'm afraid I wouldn't do it...
This is insane...