~ AjuDa ~

Ir ou não ir; eis a questão!
.
.

~ Excerto De Um Belo LoG ~

(...)

Anonymous: tu tens
Anonymous: aquilo que mais ninguém tem
Anonymous: aquilo que tu és, aquilo que tu realmente és e não o que dizes ser, perante o que queres vir a ser
Anonymous: e isso só se poderá revelar
Anonymous: pela tua inteligência
Anonymous: e isso
Anonymous: só tu a tens
Anonymous: não conheço outra igual
Anonymous: nem quero

(...)

~ Losing faith in Humanity, one person at a time ~

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name...

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew...

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth.

~ LameNess ~

I live in a world made up of ugly. You can watch me revolt away from one angle,
to the next, and to the next… and to the next.
Until I’ve done a 360 degree circle around myself, and don’t know what to do anymore.
It’s the space between me and the mirror, and how much I dare to get closer.
To examine every repulsive detail and to leave, shrinking from the world made up of ugly, feeling exposed to every shameful attacking fiber within.
The nice things people tell you don’t matter, unless you think nice things of them or care
about what they think to begin with.
It’s a shame that their veracity sells for so little until the moment they say something awful. Because whatever negative thing they might say, whether from a backstabbing friend or a stranger, it’s never anything new to you. You’ve been telling yourself that all the time.
It’s a fleeting thought riddling with anger, a thought that you understood and believed in for what seemed like forever.

... At first I thought the world had problems, now I’m sitting here and looking at myself in the mirror and realize that it’s all me.

The next thing I know I am sprawled out on the floor in my own vomit. A flash of bloodcurdling red before my eyes and screams of hate are deafening. The smell is nauseating and I am inches from blacking out.

This was what I wanted more than anything; to fade away from reality into utter darkness. I wished for more than anything to disconnect from hatred.
People change, I reassured myself, just show them you believe in them, and they will come to realization that what they did was wrong. Plus, they love me, they will change.

This is the price you pay for putting every inch of you into another.

The fucking price you pay.

And that’s when I stood in the bathroom, wondering what the hell is wrong with me
and why I couldn’t be stronger to make the right choices and stand up for who I was
and what I believed in. It was frightening, my reflection.
Because that wasn’t me… it was a monster.

There are moments in life when you feel like you are watching yourself from the outside.
The moments that matter are the ones that wake you back to reality…like this moment.
And then you feel your heart break. There is nothing you can do.

There's no worse feeling than feeling alone.
When you feel you can't count on anyone...
When you feel like the world turned the back on you, or maybe,
you turned your back to the world.
When you feel like there's no hope. No feelings.

However, thinking of losing my mother, for an instance, I feel worse...
... I feel like I'd lose, not the world... but myself.

I don't want no vengeance... in my life.

I want to learn how to live with my past, without having to miss anything.
I want to be able to add life to my days instead of adding days to my life.
I want to love NOW, 'cause the past is not coming back and there might not be a tomorrow.
I want to risk, I don't want to miss out... 'cause the only permanent thing in our lives is Change.

Nonetheless, it's not necessary a huge ray of intelligence to realize what I mentioned above,
but it's necessary a good dose of wisdom to accept it.

We don't see things like they seem, we see them like we are.

"Let determination be part of our lives."

~ HoPe HaS a NaMe ~

For me to exist brings truth to the Idea
This reason alone is reason to fear..
To have your life vision and all you hold strong
Walk into your life, what if all this is wrong?
Can hope still remain if hope was found true
Would hope become false if I ever knew you?
Believe in the bible believe that god cares
But would god become real if he answered our prayers?
If answered they are, will your back then turn,
Would hope start to fade from fear of the burn?
That if hope should fail... just think of the cost...
But if you don't hope, you're already lost!
For what is hope worth if we find it and not try;
Is life worth living if living a lie?
So you'll not give in, you'll travel the earth...
You'll find your life's vision, your mission from birth!
A message of hope you sent in your mantra
Hope has a name, her name is Lisandra...

~ Porque So Tu Sabes ~

Estou a escrever no escuro.
A luz do meu ipod eh suficiente para poder ver onde escrevo.
Estava ah uns segundos, deitada, a pensar em ti,
e em como seria se nos encontrassemos "por acaso"?...
... E porque tem de ser por acaso?

Consigo passar imenso tempo sem pensar nos meus pais, amigos;
e para nao fugir ah verdade como que me habituei a viver "sem" eles,
mas nunca o soube fazer sem ti.

Recordacao, por vezes...
Medo de ti, por outras...
Nao sei do que tenho mais saudade...
Saudade do que contigo vivi...
... ou do que nao vivi!

Houve momentos em que quis desistir...
E se as vezes errei,... (lagrima percorre-me pelo o rosto)
Se calhar, eh melhor ir cada um no seu caminho.

No fim, independentemente, de Tudo e todos,
So TU sabes como te amei.
E como te amo.

~ Fresh Start ~

We will start anew
on the first day of spring,
When flowers will bloom
and hearts start to sing,
Forgotten will be
the love winter took,
we will start anew life
from another's book.

~ Girls Just Want To Have Fun ~

I shave my legs
I sit down to pee
And I can justify
any shopping spree.
I don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
Without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
I can talk to my friends...
... about the size of my ass.
My beauty is a masterpiece
And yes, it takes long...
At least I can admit
To others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles, at any cost.
And I don't have a problem
Admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date...
You just got to deal with it,
I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay
to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just because I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends,
"Oh yeah, I can get her".
In your dreams, my dear,
I have a lot better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry is best...
Look at me you idiot,
not at my chest!!
I don't have a problem,
With expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
Don't call me a GIRL,
BABE or CHICK...
...I am a WOMAN,
get it you dick?!

~ ViaGem ~

Tudo tem um tempo... :)

Ate... uma viagem de comboio! Ora, passo a explicar:

Isso mesmo, a vida não passa de uma viagem de comboio,
cheia de embarques e desembarques alguns acidentes,
surpresas agradaveis em alguns embarques e
grandes tristezas em outros.

Quando nascemos, entramos nesse comboio
e deparamos com algumas pessoas que,
julgamos, estarão sempre nessa viagem connosco:
os nossos pais.
Infelizmente, isso nao é verdade;
em alguma estação eles iram descer e
ficaremos orfaos de seu carinho, amizade e companhia
insubstituível....mas isso nao impede que,
durante a viagem, pessoas interessantes e que virão a
ser super especiais para nós, embarquem.
Viram os nossos irmãos, amigos e paixoes maravilhosas, com grande sorte, o amor. (acaso de ja nao entrarmos acompanhados por ele nessa viagem)

Muitas pessoas tomam esse comboio, apenas a passeio,
outros encontrarão nessa viagem somente tristezas,
ainda outros circularão pelo comboio,
prontos a ajudar a quem precisa.
Muitos descem e deixam saudades eternas,
outros tantos passam por ele de uma forma que,
quando desocupam o acento, ninguém nem sequer percebe.

Curioso é constatar que alguns passageiros,
que nos são tão caros, acomodam-se em vagões diferentes dos nossos;
portanto, somos obrigados a fazer esse trajecto separados deles,
o que não impede, é claro, que durante a viagem,
atravessemos, com grande dificuldade o nosso vagão e cheguemos até eles....
so que, infelizmente, jamais poderemos sentar ao lado deles,
pois já terá alguém a ocupar aquele lugar.
Nao importa, é assim a viagem, cheia de atropelos, sonhos,
fantasias, esperas, despedidas... porém, jamais, retornos.

Façamos essa viagem, então, da melhor maneira possível, tentando nos
relacionar bem com todos os passageiros, procurando, em cada um deles,
o que tiverem de melhor, lembrando, sempre, que, em algum momento do
trajecto, eles poderão fraquejar e, provavelmente,
precisaremos entender isso, porque nós também fraquejaremos
muitas vezes e, com certeza, haverá alguém que nos entenderá.

Eu fico a pensar, se, quando descer desse comboio, sentirei
saudades...
acredito que sim, separar-me de alguns amigos que fiz nele será,
no mínimo doloroso; deixar os meus filhos continuarem a viagem sozinhos,
com certeza será muito triste, mas agarro-me na esperança que,
em algum momento, estarei na estação principal
e terei a grande emoção de vê-los chegar com uma
bagagem que não tinham quando embarcaram... e o que vai me deixar
feliz, será pensar que eu colaborei para que ela
tenha crescido e se tornado valiosa.

Enfim, façamos com que a nossa estada, nesse comboio, seja tranquila,
que tenha valido à pena e que, quando chegar a hora de desembarcarmos,
o nosso lugar vazio traga saudades e boas recordações
para aqueles que prosseguirem.

O grande mistério, afinal, é que jamais saberemos
em qual parada desceremos, muito menos nossos companheiros,
nem mesmo aquele que está sentado ao nosso lado...

Conclusao?
Ora, se entras nesta viagem comigo,
o unico modo de saires dela sem mim...
... é morrendo.

~ Escrito ah uns tempos ~

Mais uma vez a vida desilude-me...

Nao quero empurrar as culpas para cima de outra pessoa,
que nao eu
mesma, pois só eu as mereço carregar.

Senão , vamos analizar o que eu atrás escrevi:
"a vida desilude-me"...

Se eu me desiludi, primeiro precisei de me iludir...
Mas será que me
iludi mesmo, ou apenas mais uma vez sonhei?

Sempre fui uma sonhadora, uma perfeccionista
que não se conforma com o "apenas normal".
Tem de ser mais, tem de ser melhor,
tem de ser diferente, e
tem de ser assim em tudo!

Tudo em busca de uma felicidade aparente que,
quando aparece ao fim do
túnel, já dá que desconfiar, mas desta vez,
eu estava mesmo convencida que
tinha encontrado um bocadinho de felicidade...
Aliás: por um tempo posso
afirmar que fui mesmo feliz...

A minha busca incessante pela felicidade,
tem-se focalizado muito no plano
material. Essa tem sido a minha grande busca...

Todavia posso dizer que por um tempo encontrei
a felicidade espiritual e,
penso que a possa igualmente denominar de afectiva,
que eu tanto não procurava.

Mas posso dizer que a encontrei... por um tempo...

Tudo dura um tempo...
Nós duramos um tempo, pelo menos por aqui,
e depois logo se vê...
As plantas duram um tempo,
aos animais (como nós) duram um tempo,
as edificações do homem dura um tempo,
o nosso sol dura um tempo
e (penso eu de que) até o universo, dura um tempo...

Não é necessário um grande rasgo de inteligência
para poder descobrir o que atrás referi,
mas é necessário uma boa dose de sabedoria para o aceitar.
Essa sabedoria é que eu não tive
para poder perceber isso a tempo...
porque tudo tem o seu tempo,
e a minha alegria,
foi trocada pela tristeza de
descobrir o que poderia ter sido,
o que foi e o que provavelmente, já não o é...
Terá acabado o tempo?
Será isto apenas uma visão distorcida da realidade irreal?
Não sei...
Apenas sei o que vejo,
o que sinto,
e isso posso afirmar:

Sinto-me triste...

Mas essa tristeza,
como tudo o mais na vida e até como a própria vida,
durará apenas por um tempo...
durará apenas por um tempo...

~ Answers ~

If you're asking if I need you,
the answer is Forever...
If you're asking if I'll leave you,
the answer is Never...
If you're asking what I value,
the answer is You...
If you're asking if I love you,

the answer is I do...
(Cof Cof)

~ Quem o disse, fe-lo bem... ~

"Quem inventou a distancia, nao sabia a dor da saudade..."

~ rest my 'lil boy, rest ~

If I could just hold you... and keep you company when you're feeling sick and fed up of this world that carries you around; Lift up that pain that you feel, it's only the weight of the world, child.
If I could be your strength... when you're feeling weak...
... Caress you until you fall asleep.
I just want to make it go away, take the pain with my touch, oh how I long to feel you so much!
Embrace you, yes, like you are my own... like there will be one, one day.
Take you to a better place, my side, show you... that there is a light, everytime we lose ourselves in each others eyes...
I just want to hold you, caress and embrace you, in this better place where we'll stand... where you can sleep in peace and rest, at last.

"Grow Old With Me..."

I've never been so close...
...being so far.
If not the distance,
What can do us apart?

I'd walk the world
I would try my best...
Let's prove everyone
We're different from the rest.

We might have days...
Where we'll yell, argue & fight
But everything will always get better
As long as I can hold you at night.

You are the love I'll find in this life
If not, I don't know what love is
This feeling makes me feel so alive
Like, no one ever felt like this.

I wish you were in my mind
Many thoughts you'd find
But you don't need to be there
To know, I'll always care.

I'm afraid of telling you:
"Wait and you shall see"
Of scaring you away by telling you:
"Grow old with me..."

~ Dante Alighieri Divina Commedia ~

(gamer picture)

"There is no greater sorrow
Than to recall happiness
In Times of misery..."

~ Cradle of Filth ~

"Her ghost in the fog" is one of my favorites! I really like the band... it's my "dark" side! LOL!

If I could put some of my days and thoughts, into a song... this one would be it:

(hope you enjoy it)


<<>
by Cradle of Filth >>

"The Moon, she hangs like a cruel portrait
soft winds whisper the bidding of trees
as this tragedy starts with a shattered glass heart

and the Midnightmare trampling of dreams
But on, no tears please
Fear and pain may accompany Death
But it is desire that shepherds it's certainty
as We shall see..."

She was divinity's creature
That kissed in cold mirrors
A Queen of Snow
Far beyond compare
Lips attuned to symmetry
Sought Her everywhere
Dark liqoured eyes
An Arabian nightmare...

She shone on watercolours
Of my pondlife as pearl
Until those who couldn't have Her
Cut Her free of this World

That fateful Eve when...
The trees stank of sunset and camphor
Their lanterns chased phantoms and threw
An imquisitive glance, like the shadows they cast
On my love picking rue by the light of the moon

Putting reason to flight
Or to death as their way
They crept through woods mesmerized
By the taffeta Ley
Of Her hips that held sway
Over all they surveyed
Save a mist on the rise
(A deadly blessing to hide)
Her ghost in the fog

They raped left...
(Five men of God)
...Her ghost in the fog

Dawn discovered Her there
Beneath the Cedar's stare
Silk dress torn, Her raven hair
Flown to gown Her beauty bared
Was starred with frost, I knew Her lost
I wept 'til tears crept back to prayer

She'd sworn Me vows in fragrant blood
"Never to part
Lest jealous Heaven stole our hearts"

Then this I screamed:
"Come back to Me
I was born in love with thee
So why should fate stand inbetween?"

And as I drowned Her gentle curves
With dreams unsaid and final words
I espied a gleam trodden to earth
The Church bell tower key...

The village mourned her by the by
For She'd been a witch
their Men had longed to try
And I broke under Christ seeking guilty signs
My tortured soul on ice

A Queen of snow
Far beyond compare
Lips attuned to symmetry
Sought Her everywhere
Trappistine eyes
An Arabian nightmare...

She was Ersulie possessed
Of a milky white skin
My porcelain Yin
A graceful Angel of Sin

And so for Her...
The breeze stank of sunset and camphor
My lantern chased Her phantom and blew
Their Chapel ablaze and all locked in to a pain
Best reserved for judgement that their bible construed...

Putting reason to flight
Or to flame unashamed
I swept form cries
Mesmerized
By the taffeta Ley
Or Her hips that held sway
Over all those at bay
Save a mist on the rise
A final blessing to hide
Her ghost in the fog

And I embraced
Where lovers rot...
Her ghost in the fog

Her ghost in the fog

~ Excerto De Um Belo TexTo ~

Faz-se tarde e frio.
La fora chove, o granizo bate na janela e os trovoes como la conseguem sacudir a casa.
Neste quarto escuro, os relampagos por sua vez, em grandes claroes, me vao mostrando a tua imagem; deitado de corpo nu por entre os lencois desta nossa cama!
Observo-te. Como tu es lindo.
O meu menino jesus.
Nao resisto entusiasmar-me pelo o teu corpo moreninho, por esses teus labios loucos e essas tuas maos atrevidas.
Sento-me ah tua beira, acariciando-te a face,... deslizando as pontas dos meus dedos pelo o teu pescoco,... pelo o teu peito,... pelo o meio do teu tronco, em torno do teu umbigo,... pela tua cintura (em movimentos horizontais), de lado a lado; e percorro uma vez mais o teu tronco mas inversamente... ate tocar a tua face de novo!
Passar os meus dedos pelos teus labios, aproximar os meus labios dos teus... e trincar-te o labio inferior devagarinho (enquanto te acaricio o lado direito do tronco), lamber-te o labio superior de mansinho... parando de te provocar; e voltar a beijar-te... no teu pescoco, subindo para a tua orelha, e la a trinco calmamente e sussurro:

"Como amo tudo o que es".

Lambendo-te a orelha de seguida... =p
Ja nao esta tao frio! A manta castanha que ah uns minutos me cobria
sobre os ombros, esta perdida no chao neste tempo indefinido (...)

(Nao te encontras tao calmo, eu disse-te que te ias inquietar)

.

Deixa-me dizer-te tudo isto em alto e bom tom,
Deixa-me praticar este meu dom.
Deixa-me viver esta tao desejada sorte!
Deus, deixa-me caminhar com este homem p'ra morte.

* I See YoU *

I can't help to stare at you
To just watch you smile...
Without you, I don't know what I'd do...
Sit with me, this will just take awhile.

I have always asked what was love,
I've always guessed definitions...
Today, I know it goes over a lot of transformations
And it's sent from above.

You are a miracle, indeed.
A gift from God...
I'm so head over heels over you...
I even have you on my iPod!!

I can't help to think of you...
No matter where I am or what I do.
You just make me happy!
I know, this is corny and tacky!

I love you for being a man
I love you even more for being a human being!
I want to be with you as long as I can...
I wish you'd be the only think I'd be seeing.

Everything that you are...
Makes me wish upon a star...
That you stay in my life
And have me as your wife!

I see you from my seat
My heart's beating in a fast velocity
I even hear your heart beat...
'cause it plays my favorite melody.