Water your Inner Garden

.In a dark place I have sat and cried...




Not that there was pain, not that there was sorrow, not that there was guilt or excuses, not that there was nothing.



I cried for everything that hasn't changed and everything that did change that I wanted to keep, I cried for everything that has a cost and for everything that doesn't last...



I cried for the dead flower, the broken watch, the time I let go by, I cried for nostalgia, for our craziness, for our sanity...



I cried for what I've said, for what I have heard and said nothing. I cried for the missing opportunities, for the disguised tears, for the falsified happiness.



I cried for whom no longer are alive, those who die and get up every morning, for those who walk around us and aren't even with us...



I cried for the journal I read this morning, the reality outside my windows, for the screaming that more often than not isn't heard, I cried for humility, a little of simplicity, and a little of integrity.



I cried for what I did not change, what I did not avoid. I cried for those who can and don't change, for those who hear but don't listen, who wake up and don't live.



I cried for error, for the past and fear, for memories that weren't mine, and for mine as well.



I cried for the distance between two people beside one another, for the lies that are habit, for the feelings without intensity, without truth.



I cried for my sorrow... the sorrow of caring and receiving no consideration.



I don't understand how one person can know they have made someone sad and just simply not do anything? Many times I have held in ONE tear because I knew many would follow...



So many times I've heard: "Follow your heart.", but when it's broken, which side do you follow?



But then I smiled... because I needed to learn.



I learned that time cures, that sorrow goes away and that deception does not kill you...



I learned that today is the reflexion of yesterday, that the pain strengthens... and above all, that it isn't people that disappoint me, I just expect too much from them. And only this way, will I be able to see that I am strong, and that I can go further than thinking that I can't anymore.



So, from now on... I will plant my garden and I will decorate my soul... instead of waiting for someone to bring me flowers.