What is Love?

I went through a phase in my life where I was sure I knew what love was like. School doesn’t prepare you for emotional intelligence, your parents don’t warn you about the evils of a broken heart, nobody ever gives you a heads up on how love is going to feel like or be like (or what it’s not). So you meet people along the way who take away not only hope but parts of who you are... one day you wake up and you’re scared of love, even though you might have never experienced it. You’re scared to say too much, to do too much, to be too much. It takes someone special, like you, coming along and you say too much, do too much, for me, with me. You not only remind me of pieces of myself I’ve forgotten, you restore those same pieces. You bring back to my life everything good I’ve ever lost with others and add some good of your own to my life. 

Love all of a sudden isn’t scary, or hurtful, or shameful, or disrespectful, or degrading... Love is that feeling that consumes me with happiness. Where every time I think of you, see you, hear from you I get butterflies feeling in my tummy. That feeling where one second feels like an eternity, where the world just stops; and an eternity feels like one second, with you. 

It’s an undeniable feeling, I can feel the energy, I can feel your intentions without you ever lifting a finger, ever saying a word, I feel it bones deep. It’s almost as if faith brought us together, again, in this one universe. 

Love is kind, respectful, loving, caring, hopeful, positive. 

I love you’s are just hellos and pleasant goodbyes, I love you’s substitute “I was just thinking of you” which happens all the time; because no words could ever describe how I feel for you and how you feel for me. 

And all of a sudden home isn’t a place, love isn’t a feeling, the world isn’t a thing and infinity is measurable... it’s all YOU.

Christopher

I just read your profile description today. I know I'm somewhat emotional today, but it brought tears to my eyes. Which I attribute to the fact that you matter a great deal to me.

I notice the past tense, I hope that it was intentional. 

From my perspective, you are a jewel, a true diamond, a woman that i am honored to know and I never want to not know; a force for goodness and happiness and beauty and joy in the world. You make me smile, and I know I'm not the only one.

Who knows what we are destined for? I feel like we are all randomly created and placed upon this earth and somehow, we must create a substantive and consequential existence from the chaos. 

I do that by finding wonderful souls like you, and hanging on with both hands.

Maybe this is all by design.  This is what we're supposed to do with life. To find those people who help complete us and uplift us and surprise us and show us true unbridled joy. And with them explore the universe, small motes in a vast sea.

Most people have their eyes closed to the wonder of the universe. They possess no natural buoyancy, no awareness of the wonder around them. They cling to whatever happens to be nearby and sink like a stone into the depths. 

They'll certainly cling to you. Especially. They feel your buoyancy and crave it. Even though they don't understand it.

And you, with your giving heart, you want to help them all stay afloat. No matter the effort for you.

I guess what I'm saying is you can't be a mistake. Because you matter so much to me, and all the other people you've touched.

But maybe, some of the people you've touched have no desire to be buoyant. They want to drag you down to the depths. (Sound like anyone you know.....?) Those are the ones to let go of. They are destined for a miserable existence, until they learn to float. If they ever learn.

Vows

If I ever marry again, I’d want my vows to be something like this.

I promise that I will always try to see you. That even when our bodies bend and our hands wrinkle, I will still see your true beauty.

I promise to listen, but I won’t be quiet. I want to hear your heart. I will always speak up because you matter more to me than the keeping of the peace.

I will be brave enough to be me as often as I can. For some crazy reason you fell in love with me and I want to keep it that way.

I promise to touch you. Every day.

I promise to always be there for you. I will have your back and always catch you.

I promise to support you where I can. I don’t want to solve your problems, but I do want to hold your hand while you do.

I promise to be your most diligent of students. I will go to the college of you and look forward to the graduation party. I promise to never let you sleep unless you know that I love you. Whatever it takes, I will show you that I love you.

I promise to be honest. You will know me and have nothing to fear. For you will know my greatest fears.

I promise to take on all of you. Your fears, your dreams, your hopes and your loves. What made you so beautiful to me was the combination of all those things.

I promise to remember who you are. And to never make you anything else to me.

I promise to excite you. A rut is no place for two love royalties such as ourselves.

I promise to be in the moment. It’s all we have and it’s better with you in it. 

I promise that once our time on earth is finished, even then I will still love you and if I can, will find you and hold you once more.

As a token of my love.

I give you this heart.

Until love do us part.

And if one day you're told that I left without ever mentioning your name, believe it, one gets tired of waiting for someone whom everyone knows... will never show up.

~ Lisa 

“If you love her", I said, "you'll love somebody else someday." 

                     Sylvia Plath - The Bell Jar

Luis.

You're not a horrible person! You're smart, responsible, caring, beautiful... I could continue but this text wouldn't have end.

You are superior! Doesn't let people without principles, without Inteligence, without everything get you and demote, humiliate you and command your life!

You're better than he says! You are special, you are Vanessa!

I'm here for you, I'll help you in everything. You're not alone!  If necessary I will carry you!

I have a little gremlin.